3 Vital Parenting Tips New Parents of Teens Should Adopt

I can’t stand my teenager! Is a statement often made by parents of teenagers. These constant complaints cause other upcoming teen parents to dread the years their kids hit teenagehood.

You are more likely to come across loads of negative information about parenting teens because those with positive experiences rarely say much for fear of sounding proud. It is also likely a parent of a teen will share negative experiences as a way to vent.

It’s true the teen years come with their own set of new challenges; this does not mean they have to be miserable. You managed to navigate the 3 am feeds, the toddler screams, the clingy period, and the endless clean-ups. Will this overwhelm you?

As with most challenging tasks, the more prepared you are, the better your chances of succeeding and even exceeding your expectations. The same applies to parent teens.

Why Parenting Strategy Should Change for Teenagers

As children move into the tween and teen years, certain bodily, mental, and emotional changes occur. These changes cause the teen to start thinking differently, want more independence, view themselves as adults, and desire to engage in more activities outside the home. Find a detailed article I did on these transitions here.

This process of transformation is important to prepare your teen for an independent life outside the home. As a parent nurturing an emerging teen, you need to start adopting to the coming changes. These includes:

· Adopting a new mindset towards your teen, from baby to a future adult.

· Revising the set of rules you have had for most of your parenting years.

· Becoming more flexible in your disciplining style and being ready to learn from your teen.

Here are three helpful tips to give you a head start for hacking the coming teen years.

1. Change from Being the Headteacher to Coach

When your emerging teen was a child, you used to plan and do everything for them. From when they woke up to the day’s activities to what time they took a bath and bedtime. In the teenage years, the most strongly felt need is that of independence. They yearn to run their own lives and prefer minimal direction rather than being told what to do every time.

As a teen parent changing with your child, you will pick up on this and negotiate with them what they can and cannot do on their own while offering guidance on how to do some tasks.

If you choose to hold on to your child’s dependency on you, chances are high you may breed an openly rebellious child or a couch potato who depends on you to do everything for them, which may continue to adulthood.

2. Approach to Conversations Change from Being Parent-lead to Teen-lead

Really!! Yes, a teen-lead conversation doesn’t disqualify your vital role in offering guidance as an experienced parent. Teens value their parent’s input when done properly.

As a child, your teen believed almost everything you told them; the conversations you had were about simple things, and they would rarely challenge you. You will notice communication changes with time to having hard conversations that can be emotionally draining, depending on your approach.

Parents doing most of the talking and giving little ear to what is said by their teen is one of the main problems teenagers have with their parents. Teens have a craving of being heard and understood; if you can do more of listening, then your teenager will welcome your guidance.

As a new teen parent who wants to know what your teen thinks about, you need to allow them to do most of the talking no matter how uncomfortable or annoying it may be.

3. The Mode of Transmitting Information and Relating Changes

Have you ever encountered a teen parent having a conversation with adults then turns to address their teenager disrespectfully or like a child? This scenario happens a lot, and it is the quickest way to get a teen to dislike or ignore you.

As the teenage brain develops, they realize people are treated differently depending on the respect and value esteemed to that person.

Talking down to your teen like a small child, disrespecting them in your wordings and attitude, or giving them too much information as if they don’t know anything can hamper your relationship with them. Your teen will avoid you both in private and public settings because their encounter with you leaves them feeling devalued.

You may need to practice viewing your teen more like an adult you respect than a child who owes you for taking care of them since birth.

Parenting in the teen years is a period for you to grow together with your child; communicating to your teen that you are in this together gives them a sense of hope when they feel overwhelmed by the changes.

Going through the highs and lows of teenhood involves helping and forgiving each other as two people finding their way through life. The reward will be worth your time and effort.